Dear Ones,
Since I have returned, many people have asked me with great anticipation how my journey was this summer. For reference, you can access some of my pre-trip writing HERE.
In fact, in my great anticipation, I told so many people about my impending trip for my 50th birthday, that part of me ended up wishing I had told no one and that I could process in private, alone… There, that myth of aloneness again.
Alas, I am not much of a private processor, as you may have guessed if you’ve been reading this newsletter for a while, or if you know me at all. And as the days unfold and we walk into the liminal Virgo season of processing, of letting go, I find myself wanting to share.
The first part of my 3.5 week quest was an actual vision quest led by Larisa Noonan— a wonderful healing artist who I have been working with since 2018, and Alison DeLong— a new wonderful connection in the healing arts as well—both caring and gracious guides in the wild.
During this time, I was gifted with some messages that I will share in a series of emails, this being the first.
Before I begin, an aside. A bit of theory.
Lately, as I walk more and more deeply into spiritual connection, I find there is less and less separation between matters. Meaning, just because this email isn’t expressly about astrology, doesn’t mean it isn’t about what is happening right now astrologically. Opening our hearts and eyes to the stories of others allows us to feel the astrology more deeply, and then the story of the “other” becomes our story. We develop empathy and altruistic love in this way. We grow compassion by accepting nonduality.
black mountain prelude: something very sad, 2025, chalk pastel, 48x36
Be with what is right in front of you.
This is a practice I was engaged with prior to the quest. Yet, the strong message of the quest was that I will be learning this for a long time, maybe lifetimes.
Yes. I know this. How hard is it to engage with this practice?
So fucking hard. I mean, that must be why there are whole eons of wisdom traditions that focus on it, right?
I am continuing this practice in the smallest of places:
be with the food in my mouth be with the sunlight and heat be with the dog
And I am finding it in some much bigger places:
be with my grief be with someone else’s anger towards me be with genocide and starving children
Additionally, I find it helpful in coping and making choices.
what do I want to choose to be in front of me right now? can I receive any more input right now? what do I need?
Art helps.
Art helps me to be with what is right in front of me.
I returned to drawing with pastels this summer in large format, at Ulna Studio with Lettie Jane Rennekamp, and I remember how much I love the feel of the pastel melting from one form to another into the nap of the paper, the soft, chalky mess of color, and the way it makes my hands look— chaotic, undone, real.
I returned to my accordion again as well, and understood the very concrete relationship… love affair I have had with this instrument over the past 25 years.
A week ago, I had two accordions.
I gave one to my oldest kid’s bestie, what a treat!
I was set to sell the other, thinking I am done with you!
So, I emailed my accordion teacher and asked if he knew of anyone who wanted to buy it, or if he had any ideas about how to sell it.
And alongside some helpful suggestions, he laid a bit of muse-like reflection on the doorstep of my musical soul about the ways my playing and writing had impacted him. As a result, I picked up my long-lost friend and placed her right next to my desk in my studio, so that she could be right in front of me.
And I have been with her each day since— playing, creating, but mostly just feeling into this new phase of our love affair, the one where I get to see what happens if I come at her with less expectation and more acceptance, less demand and more flow, less impatience and more imperfection.
I would love to hear how, if?, you practice this one:
Be with what is right in front of you.
What are the ways you come back to the present moment? There are so many! Drop a comment for us to share a conversation.
From Terrain at Building 5 (apologies for not knowing the name of the specific artist. If anyone knows, please chime in!)
For opportunities to work with this energy in yourself, or to engage more fully in your own seeking, please see the offerings below.
Current One-on-One Work
NOW THROUGH MID-SEPTEMBER:
My books are still open for one-on-one chart readings through the middle of September. Book below.
SEPTEMBER - DECEMBER
Therapeutic Projects applications are open for the Fall quarter. Short and sweet application below. More info HERE.
Upcoming Workshops
SEPTEMBER 7:
With my friend and longtime collaborator, Gina James, I am teaching the 6th Cosmic Corpus for Virgo Season: Goodbye Perfection, Hello Mystery, in person in SE Portland, at Atrium, on Sunday, September 7, from 2-4:30 PM. Pricing tiers: $50, 65, 80. Registration below.
SEPTEMBER 13, 27, AND OCTOBER 11:
I will be teaching a workshop series online with the Tamalpa Institute on Saturdays, September 13, 27, and October 11, entitled Eclipsed: Covering, Uncovering, and Recovering the Emotional and Responsive Body. This is a very exciting moment for me, and I will be sending out another email dedicated to it soon. Pricing is $180 for 3 three-hour workshops in the series (9 hours in total), and there is an early bird and Tamalpa graduate discount of 10%. Registration below.
I’m here for this right now. And what a challenge. For this moment I am reminded to make some breakfast